1. First of all, Cashmere comes from goats, and maybe Rick would know that if he had listened to me when I told him how expensive monogrammed, cashmere pocket squares would be for wedding favors. There are fewer goats than lambs, obviously.
2. The bedroom is semi-gloss because I painted it during the beginning stages of us dating when Rick constantly accessorized by swishing Old Fashioneds but never drinking them, because of your obsession with Mad Men. Semi-gloss is easier to clean.
3. And lastly, how would he know the color of expired Rice Dream? I have been trying to get him to participate in this vegan trial with me for days, but he is still on the toxic cow juice. Did you know we are the only mammal that drinks milk after adulthood? I'm guessing he doesn't care since he gagged on the Greek yogurt with pomegranate that I made and choked loudly on my roasted pine nuts with spinach and hummus hash.
I love Rick, but we are NOT painting the bedroom Picket Fence. That color is RIDICULOUS.
-Heather
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