I Heard It On NPR: Grow Your Own Wedding

Recently, on my way to 1980s New Wave Dance class, and listening to The Splendid Table podcast, I heard about the best wedding cuisine idea ever--possibly since I came up with the idea of a vegetarian hot dog vendor.

Are you ready? In this show, Julie Grant visits a couple who has decided to GROW THEIR OWN WEDDING MEAL.

I am obviously a DIY-er, so I was immediately interested in how to create our own wedding meal by growing and maintaining natural foods (not our cake, do you think I'm crazy?). Now, we live in a condo with no garden, and I have never grown anything in my life, but we do have a roof and a bunch of leftover plastic cups--our "The Wire" party was not as successful as we had originally intended...

Naturally, after hearing this splendid podcast, I was out the door after class immediately to wrangle up an Upside Down Tomato Planter plus this adorable book which I thought was a journal about gardening with your sweetheart, but it turned out that it is about actual gardens. Oh well.

I am very excited about the prospect of a homegrown, SuperUnion meal. Despite the fact that I am now a vegan, I am willing to make an exception for farm raised Quail eggs, which I'm pretty sure I will be able to procure after I find the perfect, vintage birdcage.


Rick wants nothing to do with my Grow-Your-Own-Wedding-Meal idea but I'm pretty sure that when I mention that roof gardens are really cropping up in Brooklyn, he will come around.

I'm sure the two of us can grow and cook a 4-star meal for 250 people. I should probably register for a Isi Thermo Whipper in the meantime...

-Heather

Paint Chips: A Vent pt. V

Fine.

Compromise: if Rick wants Picket Fence, then Zooey Phoenix is going back in the running as our #1 baby girl name, and I don't want to hear one word of his "Lisztomania" rant.

And it would be nice if he could move over. I don't have enough room on the couch.

-Heather

Paint Chips: A Vent pt. IV

Picket Fence

From landscapingideasonline.com:
"The white picket fence has become an icon. It is not merely a means of tracing a property line or a frame upon which rambling roses may grow. The picket fence has become a symbol of property ownership and an embodiment of a key component of The American Dream." (emphasis added)

I'm just saying. Personally, I think Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness are fine ideals on which to form a SuperUnion. And furthermore I believe that the paint in your bedroom should mean something. But maybe I'm just old fashioned.

--Rick

Paint Chips: A Vent pt. III

1. First of all, Cashmere comes from goats, and maybe Rick would know that if he had listened to me when I told him how expensive monogrammed, cashmere pocket squares would be for wedding favors. There are fewer goats than lambs, obviously.

2. The bedroom is semi-gloss because I painted it during the beginning stages of us dating when Rick constantly accessorized by swishing Old Fashioneds but never drinking them, because of your obsession with Mad Men. Semi-gloss is easier to clean.

3. And lastly, how would he know the color of expired Rice Dream? I have been trying to get him to participate in this vegan trial with me for days, but he is still on the toxic cow juice. Did you know we are the only mammal that drinks milk after adulthood? I'm guessing he doesn't care since he gagged on the Greek yogurt with pomegranate that I made and choked loudly on my roasted pine nuts with spinach and hummus hash.

I love Rick, but we are NOT painting the bedroom Picket Fence. That color is RIDICULOUS.

-Heather

Paint Chips: A Vent pt. II

So if you keep us in your RSS feed, you've probably already read Heather's thoughts on our paint-venture this holiday weekend (please read here if you have yet to).

Yes, it's true. We are facing major decisions, now that the wedding is less than a year away (Heather is pushing for white suede bucks for me at the ceremony but I want some classic black wingtips, the verdict is still out on my coffee bar idea, will the hot dog vendor wear a red and white striped hat or match our wedding colors, etc.) and it's crazy to think that we are already planning for what lies beyond the wedding day.

But it's true. And we have been looking at paint colors for Heather's bedroom, which will soon be our bedroom. Right now it's pee-pee colored. Semi-gloss pee-pee. Or "Chantilly." But when I think of "Chantilly," I think of "Chantilly Lace," which is more black-and-white than pee-pee yellow.

Anyway, here are our top five with Heather's comments and my added follow-up statements:



1. Lamb. I think that this shade is definitely the purest white of the group, not like Pure White which looks like some sort of liquid that would live at the bottom of a cottage cheese tub. (Not that I eat dairy). --Heather

Let me just say that I love cashmere. So right off the bat, I'm into this one.

2. Tailor's Chalk. I could definitely live with this one, especially since it references fashion. However, I'm pretty sure it's closer to Chantilly than any of the others. --Heather

Like Heather, I love the sartorial bent to the name. Perfect. Classy. Love it. Also, the "chalk" part could reference baseball chalk or chalk outlines, like on The Wire. Win/win.

3. Pure White. I already expressed my opinions about this one. Whatever. --Heather

This name makes me a little uneasy. But it also sounds like it could be a drug reference, which also reminds me of The Wire. So who knows...

4. Picket Fence. At this point, we are getting to the bottom of the barrel. We actually had a disagreement about whether or not to even include Picket Fence into the choices. Don't you think it looks a bit pasty? --Heather

Now Heather wanted to reject Picket Fence because it's "pasty," which I believe is a word that gets bandied about far too easily these days, especially in reference to my thighs. And, frankly, that sends a mixed message because I loved paste when I was a kid. Eating it, smelling it, pasting things, etc. Anyway, Picket Fence is a fantastic color. The name alone embodies the American Dream. Heather said that didn't matter anymore but I argued that maybe we could use it as a comment on the whole American "Dream" ideal and its place in a post-9/11, web 2.0, "America." We're still undecided...

5. Glass of milk. I don't know what kind of milk Martha Stewart is drinking, but they should call this Expired Almond Rice Milk. Or perhaps Watered-Down Soy Latte, but this is no glass of milk. (Not that I eat dairy). --Heather

Heather goes a long way to diminish the integrity of this color by disparaging the name, but I think it's a distraction. The color is fantastic. Like a warm glass of expired Rice Dream.

Also, Heather also mentioned Behr Paint's Snow Drift. I didn't care for the color, but the name was so evocative, it made me think of other possible white paint names. Here are my ideas for paint colors inspired by great literature:

Snow, by Orhan Pamuk
White Noise, by Don DeLillo
Snow Falling On Cedars, by David Guterson
Anything by Dave Eggers
White Teeth, by Zadie Smith

Any other ideas for book paint would be appreciated.

--Rick

Paint Chips: A Vent

I have to be honest. Today, Rick and I got into an argument. I suppose that every SuperUnion has it's trials and tribulations, but I'm trying to arrange this one into the "medium-sized problems" category, and avoid placing it into "large-sized problems" category. SuperUnions always compromise.

We are planning the decor of our future marital bedroom. At this point, the bedroom is mine, and Rick will be moving in closer to the wedding date. It is fair to say that the bedroom is a bit feminine at this point, as it is a lovely shade of Chantilly, a yellow-tinted white. After his third joke about "pee-pee walls," I decided it was time to take a trip the the Martha Stewart section of Home Depot.

After debating for a good hour, we narrowed it down to five VERY different colors. Perhaps you can help us with a vote. In order of my preference, please see names and details below:


1. Lamb. I think that this shade is definitely the purest white of the group, not like Pure White which looks like some sort of liquid that would live at the bottom of a cottage cheese tub. (Not that I eat dairy).
2. Tailor's Chalk. I could definitely live with this one, especially since it references fashion. However, I'm pretty sure it's closer to Chantilly than any of the others.
3. Pure White. I already expressed my opinions about this one. Whatever.
4. Picket Fence. At this point, we are getting to the bottom of the barrel. We actually had a disagreement about whether or not to even include Picket Fence into the choices. Don't you think it looks a bit pasty?
5. Glass of milk. I don't know what kind of milk Martha Stewart is drinking, but they should call this Expired Almond Rice Milk. Or perhaps Watered-Down Soy Latte, but this is no glass of milk. (Not that I eat dairy).

Rick suggested the possibility of bringing Snow Drift from Behr Paints into the mix, but that resulted in me hyperventilating in the door section for ten minutes. If it's not Martha Stewart, he may as well go ahead and "pee-pee" on the walls, because I will have a separate bedroom, painted Pink Macaron or something equally lovely.

What do you think?

-Heather

Coffee Bar?

Bouncing around the Internet the other day, I stumbled upon a fantastic vintage sugar pourer and had the fantastic idea of having a coffee bar at the wedding. Heather instantly pointed out that the wedding will be in May and that people might not want coffee on a spring afternoon, but then I showed her the sugar pourer and I think it started to make sense to her.

So my curiosity led me to some other ideas: chocolate covered spoons for stirring, centerpieces filled with coffee beans, coffee cake, chocolate covered espresso beans, etc. But Heather reminded me our colors are yellow and gray, so some of this stuff would look a little incongruous (she said, “disgusting,” but I don’t think she meant it).

But seriously, look at this sugar pourer:



I thought maybe we could make the coffee at the wedding our own by creating a signature wedding coffee drink (which we would of course carry over into Marriedcoupledom). So I started experimenting and after six hours of trial and error, I think I’ve got a good start.

The SuperUnion:
1) Make a full pot of Trader Joe’s Columbian Supremo
--We recommend a 32-ounce (8 cup) French Press
--Beans should be ground as coarse as the Trader Joe’s grinder will allow
2) Pour each cup separately (we recommend these West Elm Modernist Mugs)
3) Add one tbsp. brown sugar (we recommend the fair trade, organic Wholesome Sweeteners) (each cup)
4) 1/8 cup raw milk (visit RealMilk.com for local, natural raw milk in your area) (each cup)
5) Muddle lemon peal and 8 ounces of Plymouth gin in a separate glass
6) Discard lemon and gin, stir each cup of coffee with the muddler
7) Spread about a cup of shaved cinnamon on a square of cheesecloth
--Pour each cup through cheesecloth into clean cup
--We recommend these Bright Morning Teacups from Anthropologie
--Discard used cheesecloth and use a new cloth for each cup
8) Microwave each cup on your microwave's lowest setting for about 55 seconds
9) Add sugar from awesome vintage sugar pourer (to taste)

I couldn’t get Heather to try it because she said it smelled like burnt hair. But I think she will come around.

Any other ideas for signature coffee drinks or uses for a vintage sugar pourer? Let us know!

--Rick

Choosing Memorable Wedding Music

Everyone wants the perfect wedding soundtrack—there’s no denying it. Sure, you could hire a DJ who will wear a Garth Brooks/Britney Spears head-set mic and start a conga line. That’s always an option. But we want a wedding that will leave a unique, indelible impression on our guests. So no conga line. No “YMCA.” We will probably have “2 Legit 2 Quit,” though. Obviously.

Heather and I have already begun the process of finding, not only the perfect songs for the reception (first dance, etc), but also the processional, recessional, etc. for the ceremony. Heather insisted on walking down the aisle to “Blackbird,” but ever since we found out Paul McCartney wrote it about the Civil Rights struggle, she’s not sure it’s the right song.

We’ve got a lot of work to do, so stay tuned: we will keep you posted on our progress! I’ll leave you with my #1 choice for the recessional music:



--Rick

Wedding Favors

While looking for wedding favor ideas, Heather and I came across a photo on theknot.com of pink flip-flops. As wedding favors. After I was done dry heaving, I realized that a couple in the process of creating a SuperUnion must stay focused at all times, for every single wedding planning decision. An opportunity like choosing the perfect favors is critical to creating a wedding that your guests will remember for eternity.

We also found a list of the “Top 9 Wedding Favors,” of which eight were edible (the ninth was “soy candles,” which, I’m pretty sure, are totally edible). Come on, people. A bowl of M&Ms does not a wedding favor make. Try harder.

So I’ve narrowed my ideas down to a personal top two:

1) Moleskine notebooks w/ silk-screened covers

This idea is fantastic, because everyone loves a good notebook, and these are absolutely ubiquitous, without being played out yet. Yes, I may have more blank ones than written-in ones, but if you’re like me and you find yourself bombarded with relatively brilliant ideas pretty constantly, and you also strive to cultivate an educated and thoughtful persona, then it’s essential to always be prepared.

I think we just improved your life. You’re welcome (in advance). Also, I need to look into silk-screening our faces onto them.

2) Red Panda Network donation

So I guess donations-as-wedding-favors are trendy right now. When I first heard this, I thought wow, what a cop-out—no one is going to actually check and see if/how much you donated AND these people look benevolent and charitable and world-conscious in the process…and then I realized that this is a pretty fantastic idea!

Of course, the Red Panda Network immediately came to mind. I’ve been looking into Red Panda adoption for a while now, and most message boards say that it’s “illegal” and if it weren’t, it would still be “impractical” because of all the bamboo they eat. Whatever. totallybamboo.com has over 230 kitchen accessories made from bamboo. OVER 230! It can’t be that hard to come by.

The Red Panda Network is perfect for a donated wedding favor. Even though they won’t allow me to become a Red Panda Ranger because it’s “only for kids.” Hopefully with a large enough donation, I can still get all five levels of Red Panda Ranger badges.

Anyway. If I can’t own a Red Panda (yet), I can allow my guests to unwillingly donate to their survival.

--Rick

Wedding Tip #27: A Vintage typewriter must be at the wedding

I am going to go ahead and lay the claim that I thought of this first, after seeing it on some blog. I had the idea before this couple. And before this couple. And I pretty much had ALL of this couple's ideas. What was I supposed to do though? Put an engagement ring on my own finger? ..

That aside, there are many ways of getting full usage out of a piece of machinery that will probably cost as much as your 1967 vintage gown. The keys will most likely stick, and the ribbon will be old, but as I'm sure you already know, that really doesn't matter. Unless, however, you are using it as your guest book and your guests won't be able to type exactly what they would like to say to you. Actually, scratch that, it still doesn't matter, 'cause they're pretty.

Below, I've mapped out exactly what type of vintage typewriters to look for and what type to avoid, depending on the motifs in your wedding.

1. The Ideal. Always purchase on Etsy if possible, as you can arrange for trades later on (you do make cool stuff, right?). I have to admit that the light turquoise/robin's egg blue is a bit played, but it's portable and it's post 1956, which is definitely important. Also, Smith-Coronas are the go-to typewriter for anyone who is trying to be accurately vintage.




2. The Second Tier: Olympia. Olympia is only a good choice if you're going for that Rustic feel, but I definitely wouldn't try to get your wedding published on Once Wed with it. The Knot would still probably still take you though. A bonus for this particular Olympia, however: it's pink! I recommend picking a color outside of the box when it comes to which one you choose. Don't go for the wedding color choice if you can avoid it. It might cost you an extra $300, but I think everyone will agree that it was worth it.



3. The one to avoid, if you want your wedding "SuperUnion" style: Remington. Just a quick hint for those paying attention, "Ultra Rare" actually means "Ultra Passé." Seriously, just avoid anything with circular keys and you'll be fine.



Hope that helps! -Heather

Signature Cocktails

Rick and I ventured out to a French café tonight to work on our signature wedding cocktail. We had a few basics (Plymouth & Tonics) before I was captivated by the Crémant de Limoux, Brut. Rick kept talking and TALKING about how our signature champagne should definitely be the Crémant de Savoie, but who wants a dry when they can have a slate? And in May?? My goodness.



Rick wouldn't take any notes because his Moleskine had less than five pages left (he keeps his "last five" relatively "clean" "just in case"), so we thought we'd be able to remember our preferences. Instead, we ended up sampling three more glasses of each and gave up, went home and fell asleep in our clothes. Again.

Best Man/Bachelor Party

So my brother Terry and I don’t agree on much. He used to bounce a mini Nerf basketball off of the back of my head while I annotated back issues of GQ. When we would go waterskiing as kids, Terry would undo the towrope and my dad wouldn’t notice for a few minutes. He looks like Dane Cook and has an authentic Bud Lite neon sign that he stole in high school and made me keep under my bed until he went to college. He always introduced me as his sister, Rick.

When you choose a best man, it should be someone who’s known you forever, right? Someone who knows all about you. Someone who can shame and mock you relentlessly without remorse because you're somewhat obligated not to kill them. Someone you promised your mom you'd ask to be your best man. Or whatever.

Anyway, I chose Terry to be my best man, so it’s up to him to plan my bachelor party. And if it’s going to be perfect, planning needs to begin ASAP.

I had a couple suggestions (the Wordstock book festival in Portland in October, winery tours in eastern Washington) but Terry thinks they sound like “girl bachelor parties.” When I told him they were actually called “bachelorette parties,” he just said I was definitely a girl. So I guess those are off the table for now.

Anyway, Terry’s insisting on a Vegas weekend. I guess he knows a guy he took real estate classes with who has a financial adviser who has a brother that works at The Palms who can, apparently, “totally hook us up” with the Real World suite. So, there's that. Vegas has never really been my thing, but Heather said I should hear him out, so I made a pros/cons list about Las Vegas:


This is going to be tough.

--Rick

First things first..

Likely the most important aspect of a wedding is what the guests will drink. It's obvious that a couple's signature drink should take several weeks of preparatory planning, but I'll just start with the non-alcoholic.

Actually no, that entry will just be entirely too long. Let's just start with the water, shall we? The ole' H20.

There is no reason that a person should be subjected to the likes of Evian. That junk tastes like carsickness and everyone knows it. And who needs the sodium in San Pellegrino?

I've gone ahead and approved this for our wedding reception water. I've never tasted it but the packaging speaks for itself, correct? Flowers need to drink as well, so be sure to moisten a sponge for them.



Now, we all know that water generates a LOT of waste, so for this reason, Boxed Water is great! About 76% of Boxed Water packaging "is made from a renewable resource, trees, that when harvested in a responsible, managed, and ethical way serve as an amazing renewable resource that benefits the environment even as it's renewed."

It always feels so good to be Green.

-Heather

Who we are is important.

This is us.*



*Note: This is not really us.

Photos courtesy of jcrew.com.

Welcome!

So. Here we are: we’ve got a year to create the perfect wedding. Some say it’s never been done, but Heather and I are committed to proving that it’s possible. We realize this is a lofty goal, but we have a motto in my family: “Do it better.” That one will be crocheted on a pillow (Heather is learning to crochet ever since she saw it in Vogue UK), and passed on to our children. Or child — Heather insists on zero-to-one offspring, I’d prefer four-to-six (but whatever, we can iron out the details later). So join us as we plan the best wedding ever, which is the first essential step to forming a SuperUnion.

SuperUnion details: we’re determined to go above and beyond the expectations of interestingness for young couples. But keep in mind that achieving SuperUnion is a process (no doubt, an arduous one). We are gearing up for the wedding (05/05/12), which give us 365 days until the christening of a SuperUnion.

Feel free to take notes.

--Rick